Post no. 16: This one’s about Mum in LA

It’s been two and a half weeks through my mum’s vacation here in LA. Another week and a half to go before she heads home. Mum hates the sun (“causes skin pigmentation!”, she exclaims), isn’t interested in Hollywood/Celebrities, and finds museums/art galleries boring. Which makes LA the perfect place for her right?

Thanks to her, we’ve pretty much exhausted all the shopping malls on the Westside. The Grove is her favourite. We have spent a considerable amount of time in San Gabriel Valley and Monterey Park because she wants to see how Chinese people live in the US (??). She takes photos of EVERYTHING – the parking meter, the security guard at Whole Foods, me opening the car door, hot waitresses. LOL! And thanks to her too, I’m now a semi-expert on churches in our hood. We may have been to what feels like all of them. Even the Mormon one – ok. that was my bad. I didn’t knowwww when i drove in! But having said that, they were very nice people. But anyhoo, my point is, the number of times I’ve been to church in the last 2.5 weeks is way more than the number of times I’ve been in 2.5 years.

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Owing to periodic womanly discomforts, we stayed home today so that I can sit in my pjs all day, sprawl across the couch, sip hot tea and eat whatever I want. Particularly, fried chicken. Of course, now and then I’d crumble in agony and writhe through the sporadic abdominal twitches. But hey, fried chicken makes EVERYTHING feel better right?

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This shutdown better be over by the time I’m done with this. Or else I’m getting another bucket.

Anyways, I just thought I’d share some of mum’s recent quips and quirks. Welcome to my world. 😉

1. Mum: “I don’t understand why the floor (in the apartment) is so dusty – it’s so windy here.”

    Mr Sweetheart: (earnestly) “But Aunty, it’s dusty because it’s windy.”

    Mum: “Yes, I wonder why huh??”

    Me: …

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2. In the car, at a traffic stop.

  Mum (looks at the homeless person standing outside): “He’s holding a sign that says “Food, Water, anything will help.”  Does that mean that he wants food?”

  Me: “Uh… yah huhh..”

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3. Mum: “I want to have pancakes today.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll look online for a place that does good pancakes”

    Cut to us sitting at The Griddle Cafe an hour later.

    Mum: “I’ll have the omelette.”

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4. Mr Sweetheart: “Aunty, which celebrity would you most like to spot here in LA?”

    Mum: “Can’t be bothered. We pay to support their careers. They should be coming to look for us.”

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5. Mum: (looking at her iPhone world clock) “It says that it is now 10am in Singapore tomorrow. What does that mean?”

    Me: “You know that there’s a 15 hour time difference between LA and Singapore right? And that Singapore is ahead of LA?”

    Mum: “Yes of course I know that! But what does tomorrow mean?”

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“Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me.”

– Alice Walker

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