Post no. 16: This one’s about Mum in LA

It’s been two and a half weeks through my mum’s vacation here in LA. Another week and a half to go before she heads home. Mum hates the sun (“causes skin pigmentation!”, she exclaims), isn’t interested in Hollywood/Celebrities, and finds museums/art galleries boring. Which makes LA the perfect place for her right?

Thanks to her, we’ve pretty much exhausted all the shopping malls on the Westside. The Grove is her favourite. We have spent a considerable amount of time in San Gabriel Valley and Monterey Park because she wants to see how Chinese people live in the US (??). She takes photos of EVERYTHING – the parking meter, the security guard at Whole Foods, me opening the car door, hot waitresses. LOL! And thanks to her too, I’m now a semi-expert on churches in our hood. We may have been to what feels like all of them. Even the Mormon one – ok. that was my bad. I didn’t knowwww when i drove in! But having said that, they were very nice people. But anyhoo, my point is, the number of times I’ve been to church in the last 2.5 weeks is way more than the number of times I’ve been in 2.5 years.

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Owing to periodic womanly discomforts, we stayed home today so that I can sit in my pjs all day, sprawl across the couch, sip hot tea and eat whatever I want. Particularly, fried chicken. Of course, now and then I’d crumble in agony and writhe through the sporadic abdominal twitches. But hey, fried chicken makes EVERYTHING feel better right?

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This shutdown better be over by the time I’m done with this. Or else I’m getting another bucket.

Anyways, I just thought I’d share some of mum’s recent quips and quirks. Welcome to my world. 😉

1. Mum: “I don’t understand why the floor (in the apartment) is so dusty – it’s so windy here.”

    Mr Sweetheart: (earnestly) “But Aunty, it’s dusty because it’s windy.”

    Mum: “Yes, I wonder why huh??”

    Me: …

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2. In the car, at a traffic stop.

  Mum (looks at the homeless person standing outside): “He’s holding a sign that says “Food, Water, anything will help.”  Does that mean that he wants food?”

  Me: “Uh… yah huhh..”

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3. Mum: “I want to have pancakes today.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll look online for a place that does good pancakes”

    Cut to us sitting at The Griddle Cafe an hour later.

    Mum: “I’ll have the omelette.”

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4. Mr Sweetheart: “Aunty, which celebrity would you most like to spot here in LA?”

    Mum: “Can’t be bothered. We pay to support their careers. They should be coming to look for us.”

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5. Mum: (looking at her iPhone world clock) “It says that it is now 10am in Singapore tomorrow. What does that mean?”

    Me: “You know that there’s a 15 hour time difference between LA and Singapore right? And that Singapore is ahead of LA?”

    Mum: “Yes of course I know that! But what does tomorrow mean?”

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“Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me.”

– Alice Walker

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Post no. 8: This one’s about why tattoos are not only for hooligans

Tattoos - aye or nay? Get it off your chest.

Tattoos – aye or nay? Get it off your chest here.

The Voice, America’s Next Top Model, Master Chef, blah blah blah and the list goes on, but Best Ink – Huh? Ok, call me suah koo but I never knew that there’s a reality series in search of the best Tattoo artist.

I think that the concept is really cool. After all, it is in search of awesome artists who would leave a permanent mark in history. Or more specifically, on the flesh of perfect strangers. I mean, I didn’t realise there’d be volunteers to get tattooed for a TV show. To get a haircut, I get. To have your house remodelled, sure, why not? But a tattoo? Wow. Ok, to be fair, the contestants are experienced professionals. But it still would not give ME any comfort to get inked under such circumstances. It’s part of what makes it good TV to me though.

Sure, I love watching Kat von d in LA Ink because she “speaks-like-a-dude-but-she’s-hot-so-it-makes-her-cool” way, but seeing host Pete Wentz and his team of judges put these Contestants through these challenges + reactions of some picky/pain-intolerant volunteers (aka “Skin”); awesome! Watch what may be future Picasso, Monet and van Goghs compete against each other in modern day  – it’d be like watching paint dry for me. Meh. But tattoo artists at work? Oh yeahhh! 🙂

So while watching Best Ink, I was inspired to do some tattoo-related research. Nah, none of those hardcore types for me. Big no no to tribal too – I really hate those, or least the ones I’ve seen before. They don’t look good and seem really meaningless. (sorry if you have one.) And if you have a tattoo which you just picked out from a catalogue flippantly or just because it’s “cool”; all I can say is, REALLY? why would you do that to your body?

Ok, anyhoos, here are some images that really caught my eye. Sure, they don’t resemble nuns, but they sure don’t look like hooligans to me either! ❤

The colours on her sleeve are so pretty. (source: tumblr.com)

The colours on her sleeve are so pretty. (source: tumblr.com)

 

She carries off the old school designs really well (source: tumblr.com)

She carries off the old school designs really well. And I love the typography of the one on her body. (source: tumblr.com)

 

 

The flowers are so pretty, the waves are a nice contrast (source: 3tattoosforgirls.org.uk)

The flowers are so pretty, the waves are a nice contrast (source: 3tattoosforgirls.org.uk)

 

Hawt. (source: pinterest)

Hawt. (source: pinterest)

 

Look! Lovebirds! (source:facebook)

Look! Lovebirds!

 

I'd really like one something like this with me styled like a pin-up girl. :) (source: tumblr.com)

I’d really like one something like this with me styled like a pin-up girl. And instead of roses, perhaps peonies or proteas. Will figure out what to replace the skull and bird with. 🙂 (source: tumblr.com)

 

This glow-in-the-dark one is really cool - I'd seriously consider something in pink (source: creativefan.com)

This glow-in-the-dark one is really cool – I’d seriously consider something in pink (source: creativefan.com)

 

Why????? (source: kittyhell.com)

Why????? (source: kittyhell.com)

I have to say though, that my mum is hugely disapproving of tattoos. (As most mums are) She feels that God made us in a particular way and if we alter our body with tattoo(s), “next time when you die and go to Heaven, God will not be able to recognise you and you will be turned away.” … … I don’t even know where to start, because I find it really cute and funny. I think I once asked her if tattoo-ed eyebrows count. Because she’s done it – twice. =)

Thanks for reading!

xxx – ms wee

 

“Someday I want to get a tattoo. That’s the first thing I’m going to do after I realize my biggest ambition in life: going to prison.” 
― Bauvard